THE LIFE VICARIOUS

If you vote against one candidate for Bayonne city coucil today.

John Cupo, who is on the ballot for councilman-at-large today in Bayonne, last year quickly moved in and out of Hoboken’s City Diner space, opening and closing a realty office after regaining his suspended license. At the time, he promised the people of Hoboken a catered block party celebrating Hoboken real estate. Really. It never happened, he closed shop then reopened in Bayonne, his new office doubling as his campaign headquarters. (This headquarters recently made headlines when so many campaign workers protested outside it demanding their delinquent pay.)

He may have learned a lesson not promising a block party to celebrate local politics if he wins, but one thing he hasn’t discovered is loving America (or at least pretending) is key to holding office, especially in a blue collar small town. Day after day we’ve passed this scene, hoping it wouldn’t always be the case but we finally snapped a picture of the flag twisted up, stuffed and closed in the front door of his empty office as it's been for weeks. While Cupo should just take the flag down, we're hoping after a loss today he'll just close shop instead.

Meanwhile over on Chilltown Lunch, we have a new post on where to dine like a Hudson County politico.

American Masala comeback, Automata shuttered, tacos at Grove.

American Masala has been undergoing some changes. The happy hour menu was wiped out, the lunch menu was reduced (no more beef burger) and there's still no signage while the Magic Johnson deli with which it shares an address continues to expand theirs. But having just come from lunch there it's a comfort to find Josh Thomas still in the kitchen and to receive word the restaurant will be open all day long through 10pm beginning September 8th. They'll be serving dinner and the urban legend that is fried chicken will again be on offer.

Less good news a few doors up, Automata Chino, the rock bar counterpart to Iron Monkey (which is need of a chef since Ian Kapitan's departure) is now shuttered for having an unsound structure.

And good or bad news depending where you live, the police have banned all food trucks from the Newport area meaning if you want your late night fill of Mexican, Korean or Indian you'll have to make your way to Grove Street where the trucks are currently parked outside the new PATH station entrance. The truck's permits have been reinspected since the city learned, through records subpoenaed by the FBI the arrested health officer Joseph Castagna (who just resigned) sold 100 more permits than is allowed. One truck was told by the police they're not even supposed to be operating until the legitimacy of permits is sorted but this is Jersey City so of course they all remain open and we're better off for it. And if you're wondering when the trucks will return to Newport, City Council President Vega was working on changing the parking laws there to accommodate the trucks but since his own arrest he's been powerless to act on their behalf.

We're only sad to see one of you disappear forever.

Union, the store that introduced us to streetwear back in high school. (HS)
Joe Doria, former mayor of Bayonne, now former state commissioner. (NJ.com)

Swine flu reaches Bayonne as Bayonne hospital initiates lockout.

If you're going write a story on Bayonne reporting its first case of swine flu, wouldn't it be a good idea to write it in the context of the Bayonne Medical Center locking out 843 employees? Not if you're the Jersey Journal which wrote Tuesday the first Bayonne and Hoboken residents have been diagnosed but failed to report where they're being treated. Do we not want to know?

Hudson County emergency drill sounds more like a blender.

As we write this, the emergency response drill that's closed down the World Trade Center PATH station and surrounding blocks this morning is just coming to an end. And if it's a success you can be sure the next time tragedy strikes, we'll be climbing out of those train tunnels on the New York City side. Why? Because of the total failure of the Office of Emergency Management tests conducted on this side of the river all day Friday.

Highlights from the Jersey Journal:

"The sirens were installed to alert residents in case of a terrorist attack or natural disaster and were placed at mass transit hubs and commercial centers in every municipality in the county... The sirens, which sound like loud horns blaring, were designed to reach 70 decibels...  Burns said he wasn't sure what solutions will be tried, either installing more sirens or making the existing ones louder... A total of 31 sirens have been erected in Hudson County, but three of them are not functioning yet... There are eight sirens in Jersey City, four in Bayonne and one in Hoboken, by the downtown PATH station, and one in Weehawken, by the New York Waterway ferry terminal, as well as elsewhere throughout northern Hudson and Secaucus... They were funded with a $795,000 Homeland Security grant from 2006...  The sirens will alert residents to tune to a yet-to-be-determined AM radio station for further directions."

So let's review. Three years ago Homeland Security gave Hudson County $795,000. With that money the OEM bought 31 sirens. They still haven't plugged in three of them. They still haven't acquired an AM radio frequency to alert people of an emergency. So all they have to show for it are 28 sirens that are designed to be no louder than 70 decibels. You know what's missing from this article? Well, besides who manufactured the sirens, sold them to the OEM, failed to properly install them or why they've never been tested before? The article fails to mention how loud 70 decibels is.So there you have it. The Office of Emergency Management spent $795,000 of taxpayer money on sirens that can't be heard over a hairdryer, dishwasher or blender. But they're not a total failure, everyone in the county heard how ineffective this drill was almost immediately.

A good reason not to run "Nude" in Hoboken's Pier A Park.

We think we've uncovered the motivation for moving "highlights" of this year's Hoboken International Film Festival to the suburbs versus, say, the Landmark Loews in Journal Square. "The year's most controversial film,"  O.B.A.M. Nude, a movie for which we couldn't even find a credit on IMDB, looks to be the sort of storytelling that would send moviegoers satisfied by this fare exiting the theater with teabag stains on their pants. This film is so absurd for words they had to make an arcronym of Occidental Briths A Monster... the untold story of how Satan turns a white college student so hellbent on spearheading a communist dictatorship he'll trade his soul to become Barack Obama. No surprise the only trailer we've found so far is hosted by the New York Post.

And you probably didn't think anything could lower the bar set by last year's festival premiere of the Naked Gun meets 9/11 comedy Postal. Could it be after last year's incident the mayor didn't want another embarrassment in his run-up to reelection?

Does teabagging fall under Jersey City food news?

According to the national Tax Day Tea Party website, there may or may not be a group meeting to protest whatever it is these people protest in Liberty State Park on April 15th from 3pm - 8pm. The Jersey City event is being organized by the certified professional oil painter Alicia Diane Chimento. She's an out of town babyboomer with a painting studio in Bergen County and a summer home in Cape Cod. If you share in her plight, according to the Tea Party website you can contact her at adcjul@aol.com for further information. Personally we'd rather see BaBo at Newport have a Tax Day Bubble Tea Party but the organizers already have enough on their minds. Their thought bubbles, below:  

If Jersey City is going to be overrun by wealthy Bergen County housewives we can only hope they take the time to read this post and buy their tea in support of local businesses. While Babo serves bubble tea, we do recommend the two Starbucks locations at the Grove Street and Newport PATH stations, Made With Love Organics at 530 Jersey Avenue, Van Houtte Cafe at 105 Greene Street and Legal Grounds at 170 Grand Street for all their bagged tea needs.

Andy Unanue (R-MePa) made the right choice after all.

Remember Andrew Unanue, the disgraced Goya exec who ran as the Republican candidate for Frank Lautenberg's US Senate seat for a week while skiing in Colorado? He's also the owner of nightclub Kiss and Fly and the neighboring restaurant Bagatelle (which didn't help his cause.) Ever since he dropped out of the race and the spotlight we hadn't thought that much of him until reading a post on Grub Street today highlighting an overlooked portion of the Times piece on Merkato 55, the impact of the bank bailout on Bagatelle's brunch business. While so many Republican governors and Senators were vehemently opposed to stimulus, Unanue's lucky not to be so conflicted:

“Says one of the gatekeepers, Remi Laba, 'Instead of having the $10,000 to $15,000 to spend on a Saturday afternoon, they might spend $2,000 to $3,000. Which is fine.' Indeed one banker is coping heroically: 'If you’d asked me in October, I’d say it’d be a different situation, and I don’t think I’d be here. Then the government gave us $10 billion.'”

The LeFrak stimulus plan: Newport Westin's grand opening.

  (The concierge desk has everything you need to roleplay a ribbon cutting in your own room.)

Somehow we were able to wake up this morning and welcome the Newport Westin to the neighborhood which brought out the entire LeFrak family and organization as well as, we imagine, their donor list including Governor Corzine and Senators Menendez and Lautenberg, Representative and El Generalissimo Albio Sires, and the even more colorful local government from belligerent nudist Mayor Jeremiah Healy to the full City Council including Steve Lipski, known for paving the streets with his own kind of gold. While we were suspcious of our Congressmen's presence, it was true enough when Sen. Lautenberg called the opening of the Newport Westin "the LeFrak stimulus plan" for tje jobs and revenue it has created for Jersey City. Anyone bringing hundreds of fulltime employment opportunities to the state deserves as much publicity as it can get. Sen. Menendez did one better by being the first guest to rent out conference rooms there to hold policy meetings this past weekend. (He's also a big fan of the Starbucks down the block, maybe because no one ever recognizes or bothers him there.)

Bret Schundler out of Jersey City mayoral race, offering refunds.

Occasional Marco and Pepe diner, former Republican gubernatorial candidate and ex-mayor of Jersey City Bret Schundler has withdrawn from this year's mayoral contest still leaving a pretty full field behind. First Andy Unanue, now this. Maybe Bret should have invested in Kiss & Fly.